Sorrow… Pain…Broken hearted. Thy has suffered and felt pain. My son, thou Savior. I watched you torture and ruin my flesh and blood. Thou seemed vengeance on Him for saving your souls. He was so much more to me than my son. He taught me wisdom and growth, and you destroyed him. I am here now with no son, but He did more good in the world. He is back with our God and Creator. You did not believe him. I knew he would not be with me so much, but I did not expect this bitter end for him. Why was I forced to lose Him in this way? Why was this dishonor displaced upon me? How am I expected to deal with this horrid pain? I am been feeling sympathy from everyone, but it does not help. It does not bring him back.
I am forced to just deal with it. Why? Why was I punished into dealing with this horrible fate? There is no greater hurting than boring a child, watching him grow up and then discover his fate is to die in the cross? I am covered in his blood. Covered in the Savior’s blood, because thou did not believe his miracles. Thou thought he was wicked, evil. Thou is the evil one, nor I or Him. Should be so harsh on thee? Should I just accept He is gone and I just have to deal with it? He has made many strives in his life. He has taught me to believe in what is unexplained.
Even in death he has resorted my faith. There is no faking, witchcraft or anything he did. Why did thee not believe him? Why did thee condemn him right away? He healed your wounds. Blessed your lives. Created miracles, which could not have been explained. It was explained as a miracle. Do you believe Him now? Thou need to be less judgmental and just loved him for what he I did. He was my son, your Savior and Lord; you should have just believed him instead of sacrificing him on the rood. A crown filled with thorns. I pray for thee. Why did thou take my son away from me?
Oh holy God, why did you choose him for this task? Why was he sacrificed for the sins of these lonely people? Does thou know what it’s like to loose someone you love? I know thou choose him to be a beacon for the Lord, but he did not deserve this punishment. He saved so many lives and performed many miracles. My dear child, I am sorry. I know this was your deed, you destiny, and your chosen path; but I could have protected you better. Prepared you for the horrors of the evil ones.
However you are with you father, the holy creator as it is meant to be. You will always be in my heart and my soul. I know thou is always looking down on me, watching over me and protecting as I have for you. You will always be my son and I will always love you. I apologize for the lateness of my response. My sorrow was hard to get out, because I had to take breaks. It was hard to write through the sight of sadden tears.