Chaucer’s Apology For His Lackluster Tale(s), Followed By Some Choice Words For Our Host

Hello everyone, G.C. here!

If there is anything any of you have noticed about me (if you’ve even noticed me at all), it is probably that I am very quiet and shy. My small stature makes me all the more invisible.  I’m sorry if my tale was a bit disjointed and too formal to hold your attention; I was very nervous speaking out loud in front of such a large audience, and I am far too modest to tell any sort of tale that would be as interesting as, say, the Miller’s or the Shipman’s tale. And, to be honest, most of my life has been spent indoors studying, so I have very little real life experiences that would help me to construct a believable tale.

I don’t have any illusions that I have any chance to win this tale-telling contest, but I don’t mind sitting and listen to you all talk. Maybe one day I will write all of these stories down for fun. But I’m sick of reading everything in Latin and French …. maybe I’ll record these oral traditions in English, the language they were meant to be told in. That would be useless, though, wouldn’t it, because who would read it but me?

And here’s a message to the Host: I certainly do not appreciate your rude attitude towards me. It actually really hurt my feelings. I’ll admit, I cried a little in the corner when you made fun of me.  I tried as hard as I could to tell a nice story, and if you don’t like it, then it’s not my fault. You might think that just because i am some unimportant, overeducated, struggling writer, you can say whatever you want to me. But maybe one day I will be someone important, and you’ll regret your words. My “foolishness” that makes your “ears ache” might well prove to be interesting to some other, more appreciative people, some day.

Also, Host, I would like to meet your wife. Isn’t this YOUR inn? Where is she? I don’t think it’s fair for you to talk so badly of her, without giving her a chance to defend herself. I pity the woman that is married to you, and I’m sure she is a kind, respectable lady, driven to her wit’s end by your rude and thoughtless behaviour!

I propose we let her tell a tale about YOU, and she can list all the reasons you are unsatisfying to HER!

Unless, of course, that would be cause for you to kick me out of your inn, in which case I’ll shut up.

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3 thoughts on “Chaucer’s Apology For His Lackluster Tale(s), Followed By Some Choice Words For Our Host

  1. Hear, hear! I also think that the Host’s wife should tell a tale about him. Just think of all of the interesting stories she has to tell. I’m sure it would be very difficult for her to pick just one. This righteous, pompous ass has no right to talk like that to anyone. People who live is stone houses shouldn’t throw boulders.

  2. I agree! Here you are Host on such a long trip and without your wife? Why is that? Maybe it is for this exact reason. Were you worried she would join in with the rest of us and tell a story about you that you’d be embarrassed or ashamed of? I think that when we get back from Canterbury we should all gather at the inn and listen to a tale or two told by the Host’s wife, and we should all be able to criticize the Host like he has done to all of us!

  3. I think when we get back to the Inn, we should introduce the Host’s wife to the Wife of Bath, I think they would have a good time together. They certainly both seem opinionated and strong-willed, to say the least.

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